Why Kissing Is So Important In a Relartionship, According To Psychology

 Remember that most people's real "first kisses" aren't romantic. They usually come from their mothers and fathers, which builds an important link between kissing and affection. "Our earliest experiences as infants often involve lip stimulation through being nursed and kissed by our parents," says Sheril Kirshenbaum, an academic specialist at Michigan State University and author of The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us. "And later, we associate these sensations with feelings of love, comfort, and security when we want to express how we feel to someone else. Kissing brings two people together like no other behavior. Each partner actively engages all of their senses to learn about the other." [1]

Because this type of bonding can strengthen relationships, it could also lead to problems. According to Marilyn Anderson, author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures From the Dating Swamp, it could create an impression of affection and connection that isn't truly there. "If you are in the world trying to meet somebody, yes, kissing can certainly tell you if you’re compatible with somebody," says Anderson. "And what I say in Never Kiss a Frog is, don't kiss the wrong guy, because it does have this bonding influence on you. If you get too bonded to somebody and he’s the wrong guy, you might stay with him too long."

You don't have to take Kirshenbaum and Anderson's words for it. The science backs them up. Research has shown that kissing increases oxytocin (also called the "cuddle hormone" or "love hormone") which helps create attachments between people. It also increases levels of serotonin and endorphins - which improve mood - and dopamine - which heightens feelings of pleasure. This feeling of closeness often leads to people making love and enjoying it. Beyond the psychological importance of kissing, there are some ways it can even benefit our health.



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